Star Wars 2011: Maxwell Skywalker Conquers the Dark Side

Very, very recently, on a planet very, very nearby, was a young Jedi padawan named Maxwell Skywalker, great, great, great nephew of the legendary Jedi Knight Luke Skywalker. He was assigned to the Rebel Alliance Jedi Academy, located in happiest place on earth, a magical kingdom named Disneyland, to begin his Jedi training.

It was a land with strange creatures, like dwarfs, talking mice, dogs, pigs, chipmunks. There were beautiful princesses like the Sleeping Beauty and a dark haired maiden by the name of Snow White. Most of them were friendly, some of them were crazy, some of them were dumb, and some were evil. Maxwell arrived eagerly at the Jedi Academy Training Center in the Tomorrow land sector. Donned in his brown Jedi Padawan robe, young Maxwell fastened on his new hi-tech light saber. He stood in line with all the other Jedi trainees, and watched as they dueled with evil characters.

Suddenly, Maxwell's name was called. He ran out onto the training platform, and for a split second, he was shaken to his core. It was the most evil enemy of all from the dark side, the despicable, black helmeted, Darth Vader. But a voice whispered in Maxwell's ear: "The force is with you Maxwell, use the force." Maxwell then aggressively lunged forward with his mighty neon light saber, and battled valiantly with the evil Vader. It was a challenging battle, but Darth Vader made a slight mistake, and lunged forward, just as young Maxwell lunged forward, and the neon light saber of Maxwell Skywalker, sliced through Darth's legs, and rendered him legless. Maxwell Skywalker, on his first training battle, won against the infamous Darth Vader. Hooray Maxwell! If you'd like to see this mighty battle, click here, and you will not be disappointed.

After his battle, Maxwell was in need of some R & R. The Jedi Academy Master excused all the trainees, and they spread out to see the sights of the Magic Kingdom. But Maxwell had barely gone 5 steps, when he found himself surrounded by Storm Troopers. They aimed their hi-tech laser guns at him and called "Halt, you puny little padawan, or we'll shoot!"

Halt you puny padawan
or we'll shoot

But once again, Maxwell heard the voice, "Use the Force, Maxwell, the Force is with you." Maxwell whipped out his light saber and wielded it menacingly at the storm troopers. "You don't scare me storm troopers. The Force is with me, and I'm gonna slice you in half just like I did to Darth Vader. Take that, and that, and that, and that." With in 30 seconds, all the storm troopers lay in a heap. The crowds surrounded Maxwell Skywalker, and hoisted him on their shoulders crying out, "Maxwell Skywalker is our hero."

The next morning, the Jedi padawans were to don disguises and infiltrate the the Galactic Empire base camp in the Magic Kingdom. Maxwell Skywalker, after dressing as a Dark Side Wookie, snuck into the camp, and nosed around. He found himself tiptoeing down a long corridor that ended in the infirmary. There on cots, lay the injured storm troopers and Darth Vader himself. There were droids working on them feverishly, to put them back together so they could defeat the now famous and revered, Maxwell Skywalker. Maxwell was not afraid. He quietly slipped away and found all the other disguised Jedi padawans and they formulated a plan.



Maxwell Skywalker
disguised as a wookie

Young Maxwell led the way as they surrounded the infirmary, light sabers at the ready. The droids were still not done putting the evil dark side warriors together. So, Maxwell motioned for another padawan to create a distraction. The padawan crouched under the window of the infirmary, knocked on the window, and ran away and hid. The droids ran to the window to see what was going on. As soon as the droids turned their backs, Maxwell led a might charge, and the pack of Jedi padawans finished of the storm troopers, Darth Vader, and pulled the chargers out of the droids. Maxwell Skywalker succeeded once again, in overcoming the darkside.
A week later the Jedi Academy held a graduation ceremony. Maxwell Skywalker not only received a diploma, but was awarded the highest award for valor. Yoda, the Jedi Master called Maxwell forward. "I Yoda, Jedi Master, do crown Maxwell Skywalker to be the new Jedi Master of the Magic Kingdom Jedi Academy." Yoda placed a Mickey Mouse Crown on Maxwell and the crowd went wild, applauding and whistling and saying, "Hail Jedi Master Maxwell!"

Maxwell is crowned with the coveted
Mickey Mouse Crown, and promoted
to be the new Jedi Master

                     The End